A Complaint Free World: summary

I decided to finish my ‘Complaint Free World’ mission, now – because I don’t like having to monitor myself so much in conversation. I’ve been a bit sarcastic about this whole thing, but I ought to take a moment to talk about the experience as a whole, and some of the positives of it, because I genuinely think it’s a good thing I’ve tried.

So, the background: before I started, I’d been in a bit of a slump. I was grumpy and irritable. I could barely have a conversation – any conversation – without being surly.

They say complaining can be a form of healthy catharsis, releasing our negative feelings, but any time I complained needlessly to long-suffering friends or co-workers, I’d feel vaguely dirty and ashamed of myself. If you complain, you put others in a position of having to cheer you up, or just feeling uncomfortable.

I have always felt that one of the truest signs of maturity is being able, where appropriate, to say nothing. I have a lot of respect for people who can stay calm, and not start sputtering with impotent rage any time they’re under stress. People who don’t have to let everyone around them know when they’re not happy with something.

That’s why I felt it a good idea to try this ‘no complaining’ idea.

Mind you, as I said from the start, I had no intention on trying the full monty, the 21 consecutive days. If it takes 4-10 months to achieve such a thing, I’m not interested, because that is a long time to be constantly policing everything you say. And sometimes complaining is fun, and doesn’t necessarily bring others down.

So, after that preamble, how do I feel so far? I did it a week – rather shy of the recommended time -and I would give it the thumbs-up. I honestly didn’t think I could curb my complaining so drastically in such a short time. I haven’t had any perfect days, but nor have I had a day where I’ve complained more than three or four times. Sometimes only once. And usually when talking to myself. And that’s nothing short of astonishing.

It stopped me complaining about my situation in life, and it stopped me losing my temper so much. It stopped me saying random, pointless things like ‘I’m so tired…’ And I guess it’s true that the less I complained about my lot in life, the less I thought about it or dwelt on it in self-pitying fashion.

Another remarkable thing is that I haven’t said the word ‘f**k’ in seven days. In fact, I haven’t used any expletives at all. I have had a bad tendency to turn the air blue while driving – my driving was full of invective. It got to the point where every few days I would tell myself, ‘okay, you need to really try to swear less; tomorrow, try not to do it at all, set yourself that goal, one day at a time’. And then the next day, I’d be looking for a car park in the city, and snarling ‘f**k! f**k!’ at regular intervals. I was just saying it before I realised what I was saying.

I am not completely sure if I prefer keeping all my rage at other drivers inside, or if I prefer keeping up my running Commentary of Rage. But it was interesting that when I targeted the root of the problem – complaining, rather than swearing – suddenly I was able to stop. Whether it lasts long-term, I’m not sure.

Anyway, obviously others will have had different experiences, but I am glad I did it. I feel like I purged a lot of the negativity I was wallowing in prior to starting. But I’m getting bored with it so it’s time to move on. ^_^